Posted 4 days ago
Mourning the Life Before Cancer
Grief isn’t reserved for death. A cancer diagnosis can trigger deep grief feelings—grief for your old self, your health, your plans, or the certainty you once held. It often arrives suddenly, wrapped in fear, anger, and disbelief. And like any loss, it deserves recognition.
After a diagnosis, people commonly grieve what they are about to endure: treatments, side effects, and changes to their identity or independence. This grief may feel isolating, especially if you’re expected to “stay strong.” But grief isn’t weakness. It’s a normal, human response to an unexpected change.
Acknowledging your grief is the first step toward moving through it. Don’t rush yourself. You may feel fine one moment and undone the next—and that’s okay. Be gentle with your emotional swings.
Here are a few ways to care for yourself while grieving:
1. Journal your emotions – Writing helps process shock, fear, and sadness without judgment.
2. Connect with support – Lean on people who can listen without trying to “fix” you. Consider a therapist, support group, or oncology social worker.
3. Name your losses – Say them out loud. Whether it’s lost energy, freedom, or fertility, naming your grief gives it shape and power.
4. Allow joy when it comes – Grief and joy can coexist. Let small moments of beauty or humor be healing, not guilt-inducing.
5. Set boundaries – You don’t owe anyone a perfect attitude or constant updates. Protect your energy.
There is no “right” way to grieve a cancer diagnosis. But naming the grief, creating space for it, and choosing moments of connection can soften its weight. In honoring your grief, you also honor the part of you that’s still very much alive—navigating this with courage and heart.
Our Supportive Care Services department at Ironwood Cancer and Research Centers is here to provide resources and avenues of support through our classes, support groups, integrative oncologist, nutritionists, social workers and genetic counselors. For additional information, email the supportive care services team at wellness@ironwoodcrc.com or call 480-314-6660.
Jodi Puhalla, BSW
Social Worker for East Valley Offices
Jodi Puhalla obtained her social work degree from MN State University/Moorhead in 1990. She has spent most of her career as a medical social worker in hospitals, long term care facilities and hospice care.
Jodi is a native of Minnesota and moved to the Phoenix area in 2020. She has a passion for holistic healing and meditation. She likes to explore ancient practices for stress management in the modern world. She enjoys supporting others through difficult transitions in their lives.